The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
