I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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