Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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