Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
why do cheetos always look like penises
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
