Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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