Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
