sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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