Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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