I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
