Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
