why didn't you poke me back
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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