The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
