i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
