Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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