i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
