Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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