Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
