in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
