Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
