i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
