He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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