I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
