How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
