cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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