His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
