All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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