The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
