they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
