SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this just has baby written all over it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I DEMAND FORESKIN
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
