do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
