guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
