i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
