I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
