We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
