I want to stick my p in your. b.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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