I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
