Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize