how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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