some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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