Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
