the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
