I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
