what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
