sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
