yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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