He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
