that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
birth control should be required to get into college
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
