That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
