Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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