the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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